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Empress Malina is an episode from The Emperor's New School.
Characters[]
Introduction Line[]
Hi there. Squeakity-squeak Squeaker-squeak, Squeak Squeaker-Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeaker-Squeak Squeaker-Squeak. In Squirrel Speak, That Means...Theme Music...
Synopsis[]
Kuzco is worried that Malina's zit will "throw off his groove", so he tries to make it better with Yzma's potion, but the potion makes Malina grow the beak of a toucan. Kuzco wants to take otherwise 'perfect' Malina to the Kuzcoteque (annual dance), as his presumable future empress. She considers Kuzco superficial, and indeed we worries about her facial fault, a pimple, enough to accept a potion from Kronk, which Yzma - posing as him - replaced with an elixir to give her a beak, and then pledge his throne for the antidote. It all goes otherwise.
Plot[]
The episode opens up with Kuzco in the Cafeteria getting lunch from Mata. Kronk then shows excitement about what's for lunch (an Octopus Sandwich). Kuzco then asks Kronk if he's excited about Kuzcoteque (annual dance) going on in the event. Kuzco then tells Kronk that Malina is this year's Kuzcoteque Empress, which means that she was his date for the Kuzcoteque dance.
Later on, Malina starts to walk over, and Kuzco pushes Kronk away. Kuzco told Malina that she was his Empress. Malina then talks about how excited she is. Kuzco ignores what she's saying and starts calling Malina a Hotty Hot Hottie and talks about Malina being his real Empress after they graduate from Kuzco Academy, Kuzco also mentions that she is so perfect that she has Perfect Hair, Perfect Lips, and Perfect eyes. And that it will be a perfect Kuzcoteque. Kuzco then sees a zit on Malina's nose and gets frightened about it ruining Malina's perfection. Then Kuzco yells out loud that Malina has a zit. Malina replies that yes that she knows she has a small zit on her. Then she asks Kuzco if it will throw off his groove. Kuzco then tries to admit that it won't be a problem. Then Malina walks away and calls Kuzco Superficial.
Kuzco then pauses the show and looks into the dictionary on what Superficial means, and finds Superficial means not profound or shallow. The Kuzco mentions that he's not shallow. Kuzco then switches to a picture of Malina Zit up close. He then admits that Malina's Zit is just one small tiny skin blemish and that Malina is still a Hotty Hot Hottie. Then he switches to a picture of him sitting in a chair while 3 lady's are serving him. He mentions as an emperor he can't have flawed things, because it would be bad for his reputation. Kuzco also mentions that if his Empress has a flaw so does he. Then Kuzco switches the picture to the Octopus sandwich and asks the audience if they would it one.
Kuzco resumes the show with him and Kronk walking in the hallway of Kuzco Academy. And Kronk admits that he wants to help Kuzco out with Malina Zit. Kronk admits that he's on it about the perfect Kuzco wants. Kuzco then asks Kronk if he could make a Zit-destroying potion. Kronk then mentions not so much a potion as it's an elixir. Kuzco then asks Kronk if he's sure Principal Amzy(Yzma) is around to catch them going into her office. Kuzco and Kronk then pull the level and a giant foot stomps onto Kuzco. Kuzco and Kronk then ride the roller coaster. The roller coaster stops and Kronk then wants to offer Kuzco a secret lab burger but Kuzco doesn't want one. Kuzco and Kronk then arrive dressed up in Yzma's Secret lab uniforms. Kuzco starts talking about a magic potion to destroy Malina's zit. Kronk then reminds Kuzco that it will be an elixir. Then Kuzco mentions that he'll apply the Elixir to the blemish on Malina's face. And that then he and Malina will boogie until dawn. Kronk then makes the potion. And Kuzco thanks Kronk. Kuzco then tasks the elevator upstairs. However, Kronk removes his head and it's revealed that Yzma was disguised as Kronk. Then the real Kronk walks up and is surprised to see Yzma removed disguised as him. Yzma then mentions she can't wait until Kuzco sprays the elixir on Malina. Kronk then runs out of the secret lab, across a walking bridge, and into a tree hole.
Kuzco then appears walking to the entrance of Kuzcoteque, and he starts talking in his mind about the elixir being the cleverest idea he's ever had. Kuzco then approaches Malina and apologizes for making a big deal about her Zit. He then offers the elixir as a perfume. Then he sprays Malina with the Elixir and Malina coughs and asks what was it Kuzco sprayed. Kuzco tells Malina that it's uh, eau du elixir and that it's French. Then Malina's Zit disappears. The Kuzco starts talking in his mind about Malina's zit being gone, and her perfection is saved. And Kuzco does a wolf howling in his head. Then a toucan beak appears on Malina's face. And Kuzco yells that yells that she has a toucan face. Then students start to laugh at Malina. Malina then mentions that it was perfume and that it was some weird old potion. Then Kuzco tells Malina that it's Elixir. Then Malina asks Kuzco that no one will notice she has a Zit with her beak on her face. Then Kuzco replies that he wants to turn Malina into a bird.
Malina and Kuzco with Toucan beaks.
Kuzco then goes and finds Kronk in the tree and tells him that the Elixir is phony. It added a toucan beak instead of subtracting a zit. And that Kronk was trying to ruin Kuzco's perfection. Kronk then asks Kuzco if he mentioned that he gave Kuzco an elixir. Kronk admits that he can't make an elixir and barely makes potions. Kronk then talks about him removing his head and that it was Yzma underneath. Yzma then appears inside her Kronk disguise and she pulls and level and the giant foot stomps on Kuzco again. Then Kuzco wakes up and strap into a bed. Yzma asks Kuzco whether he wants to keep the beak, or gives Kuzco an antidote to get rid of the beak on Malina. Then Kuzco chooses to answer two. Then Yzma also mentions one condition if Kuzco allows her to become Empress. Then Kuzco still chose answer two. Then the Royal Record keeper appears and advises Kuzco not to give the Kingdom to Yzma, and that Yzma will bring nothing but sorrow. Kuzco then replies that he would have to go to the dance with Freaky Beak Girl (Malina). Yzma then hands Kuzco the antidote, Yzma gets excited about her then becoming Empress. Then Kronk appears and nocks out Yzma with some bananas. Kronk then grabs the Antidote from Kuzco and tells Kuzco that it's probably not the Antidote. Kuzco then drinks the potion and he turns into an Octopus. Mata then appears and calls Kronk tomorrow's lunch special. While Yzma was still knocked out on the floor Kuzco mentioned that she wouldn't get the Kingdom and that the deals were off.
Then Malina stands outside of Kuzcoteque angry. Kuzco then whistles and calls Malina a pretty bird. Malina then tells Kuzco that he's not funny. Kuzco then appears with a toucan beak too. Then Kuzco apologizes to Malina for turning her into a scary beak face girl. Malina then mentions that Kuzco giving himself a peak was shallow and touching. Kuzco then tells Malina that they'll be back to normal after the break. Kuzco then admits that true perfection is impossible. Kuzco also mentions that even with a toucan beak Malina is still super. Kuzco and Malina then appear in the Kuzcoteque dancing together.
Finally, Yzma then wakes and gets excited that Kuzco made her Empress. Then The Royal Record Keeper appears and tells Yzma that the deal was off. Yzma then gets angry. And Kronk knocks her out again with some bananas.
Cast[]
Main[]
- Jessica DiCicco as Malina
- Eartha Kitt as Yzma/Amzy
- J.P. Manoux as Kuzco
- Patrick Warburton as Kronk
Recurring[]
- Bob Bergen as Bucky the Squirrel
- Patti Deutsch as Mata
- Rip Taylor as Royal Recordkeeper
Trivia[]
- This the first time Kuzco rides the secret lab coaster.
- This also the first time Malina gets afflicted with a potion.
- This is the second time Pacha was absent